


Skeletons in the Closet

by Graceful_Storyteller



Series: Hunt the Haunted [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Until someone invents a time machine there’s no way to change the past. You need to accept that and move on. Now stand up soldier; there’s a war coming and you’re useless to us if your head is stuck in the past.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Steve tells Tony about his past relationship with Howard. Tony doesn't take it well. Steve regrets opening his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skeletons in the Closet

They don’t talk about it for the longest time. Neither of them is interested in bringing up the past, of opening old wounds they wish would heal. They keep their questions and their accusations to themselves and act as if Howard never existed. They both know without having to say a word that that is the only way they can work together, that they can make this team function – make their tentative friendship function. Then they get into a fight, a big one, and it is just as it was when they first met. They forget for a moment their silent truce and that is when everything goes to hell. Tony asks him why Howard was so desperate to find him that his self-appointed mission became more important than raising his son. Steve responds it was because they were lovers and Tony goes quiet. Steve watches as denial, betrayal, rage, and finally apathy flash across Tony’s face. Then the engineer turns his back on him and walks away.

 

Steve spends the next few hours taking his frustrations out on punching bags. When the last bag splits and spills its content across the floor Steve finally ceases his furious movements. He collapses against the wall, his chest heaving as memories of the war play before his eyes.

 

_Howard, frowning as he fiddles with a weapon they’d stolen from Hydra. The joy in his eyes when he suddenly discovers how it works._

_Howard, his voice in Steve’s ear as he engages in combat; calling him ‘son’ even though they’re practically the same age._

_Howard, cheerily slapping Steve’s rear and telling him to go ‘beat up those Nazi assholes and bring home some new toys for daddy’._

_Howard, dressed to the nines as always in the finest suit money can buy, smiling charmingly as he offers to buy Steve a drink._

_Howard, whispering promises against Steve’s neck as they lie hidden behind one of his machines._

_Howard, deadly serious for once, telling him to come back to him. Steve promises he will. He doesn’t keep his promise._

 

Steve curses in a way he knows would make Howard proud. The engineer had always encouraged him to be less polite, to be less of a boy scout and more of a rebel like him. Steve had always smiled and replied, “I’m sorry Mr Stark but it’s in my nature to be polite.” Howard had shaken his head in disappointment and vowed to one day make him less of a goody two-shoes.

 

Howard always was a man of his word.

 

Steve doesn’t even realise he’s crying (or that he’s not alone) until Natasha drops a box of tissues in his lap. She doesn’t offer him words of comfort or empty reassurances; all she says is, “Until someone invents a time machine there’s no way to change the past. You need to accept that and move on. Now stand up soldier; there’s a war coming and you’re useless to us if your head is stuck in the past.”

 

Steve sniffs and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallows and asks, “Tony..?”

 

“Stark will get over it. He’s probably suspected as much for years – he just never expected you to actually confirm it. Once he’s sobered up I’m sure he’ll be happy to pretend your little argument never happened.”

 

Steve winces because that isn’t what he wants. He wants to be able to talk to Tony about Howard, wants to learn about the man’s life from someone who was there to actually witness it rather than newsreels and an old file. He wants to know that Howard was happy, that Steve disappearing didn’t ruin his life. But Steve knows Howard is a sore subject for Tony, that their relationship was fraught with conflict and bitterness. Steve can’t help feeling a little responsible for that, for being one of the factors that triggered arguments between them. He wants to do something to make up for that – but he knows Tony won’t let him. Tony wants to forget the past (especially now, after the truth has finally come out) and move forward into the future. Steve knows he will have to move forward too if he wants Tony’s friendship.

 

Accepting the hand Natasha offers him, Steve rises to his feet. “I’m going to clean things up down here. I promise I’ll be up in a moment.”

 

Natasha nods and leaves him to compose himself. As Steve watches her go he thinks of Peggy and all the other people he once knew who are now dead. He’s the last surviving member of the team that saved the world from the Red Skull. Suddenly, Steve feels old.

 

Taking a tissue from the box, Steve blows his nose and removes the rest of the evidence that he has been crying. He then gets to work on cleaning up the mess he’s made of the gym. He knows that will be a far easier task than cleaning up the mess that is his relationship with the son of Steve’s dead and buried genius playboy lover.


End file.
